LINDSAY LOHAN ON TRACK TO COMPLETE PROBATION
Yes, you read the title of this post correctly. Lindsay Lohan is actually on track to complete the requirements of her probation by her next hearing scheduled for March 9th. This glowing probation report comes after a string of self-inflicted setbacks which bear repeating: First, she got a DUI. OK, this can happen to anyone who drinks. She’ll learn from her mistake and avoid any further entanglements with the law, right? Wrong. After her first DUI she picked up another DUI, this time with cocaine on her. OK, so she has a substance abuse issue. Once she gets treatment she’ll shape up and fly straight, right? Wrong. From here Lindsay Lohan began a dizzying series of events that went from bad to worse to whatever is worse than worse. Over the next 3 years or so Lohan attended a total of 3 unsuccessful rehab stints, managed to get into a physical altercation with one of the rehab staff members, failed to show up for a court appearance, failed a mandatory drug test, failed a random alcohol test, failed to complete her court ordered community service, violated probation multiple times, served 3 separate jail sentences, and plead guilty to theft of a necklace from a jewelry store. In short, she became what I referred to as the train wreck formerly known as Lindsay Lohan.
It was with this backdrop that I read, then re-read, then re-re-read the latest entertainment feature detailing her recent compliance with probation. Glowing probation report? Actually going to work 12 days per month at the LA morgue? Ms. Lohan is a mere 2 months away from being discharged from supervised probation. If she gets there she will at least temporarily have the last word on all the naysayers, yours truly included. Lindsay, you’ve made me a believer again.